Truth: I don't love my body everyday
There are still many days where I look in the mirror and wonder if my belly squish is ever going to go away.
I know I am not overweight by any means and I know there are people who look much different than I do and would trade for my body. I get that. That doesn't take away the fact that it occasionally still feels like a strangers body when I catch it in the mirror.
I am not proud of the fact I still feel this way after having my last baby 4 years ago but I am getting better at loving it more often.
I can handle the fact that when I do plank pose at the gym my belly sags down like an old kitty cat.
I embrace that I prefer to wear high waist Lululemons to keep all my squish in its suitcase and I am thankful for those damn High Waisted Wunder Unders every day!
I know despite my hard work in the gym, my tummy is never going to look like Gisele's, Jessica Alba's or whoever,
and thats ok because
This body grew two babies
This body survived a blood clot 12 days after having a baby
This body can deadlift over 200lbs
This body provides me with a career I love
This body allows me to move fluidly through life with out pain, and with pretty awesome mobility
Lately when I see what I am capable of at the gym I am proud. I am proud I could have let a blood clot and a forever swollen leg slow me down and I didn't.
I am proud I make time in my week at least 3-5 times to train and that's not easy.
I am proud that I have inspired other people in my life to get active!
All of this matters because of one thing:
The most important thing to me is that how I feel about this body is going to eventually help shape how my daughters feel about their bodies.
How I talk about this body is going to lay an imprint on how they talk to themselves about their own bodies.
I want to raise strong, confident, body positive ladies. I want them to see the strength they are capable of creating and be so fucking amazed by the power of the human body.
I want them to embrace their weirdness, their curves, their adorable smiles, and never look in the mirror with an ounce of hatred. This is mostly impossible I know,
but there is no way that their bodies are anything short of incredible, beautiful, capable, and perfect in my eyes.
I am imperfect in my acceptance of myself, and I am always trying to work on it.
I can only lead by example. When we know better we do better.