Just because I want to be stronger/leaner/fitter, doesn't mean I hate the skin I'm in.

I work at a Crossfit gym.

I am surrounded by beautiful, strong people all day long who really make fitness a priority. I am blessed to work there because it makes it easy for me to fit in a quick sweat session here and there. I also get to attend classes when time allows.

This year for New Years, i've joked (aka am dead serious) that I want Abs for my birthday. This has raised some red flags for people in my life. Worry that I am holding myself to unreachable expectations, or unhealthy choices, worry that I have a warped sense of reality because of my workplace, worry I have dislike for my current shape and size.

I thought this was super interesting because in all honesty, when I set this goal it had nothing to do with my feelings about my current body. Did I indulge over Christmas? HELL YES. Thats who I am. Holidays, vacation, a wedding, a birthday, I will partake in the eating extravaganza.

But currently, at this very moment I feel very secure, and well adjusted in the choice to try just a little bit harder. To commit just a little bit more to the food planning, and food prep.

To hit the gym, and track a little bit more regularly.

The summer was ALL about the kids, and the fall was a completely selfish time for me with all of the travel I did. I put my self care, my wanderlust, my adventuring spontaneous self first.

There is another part of me though that thrives on habit and routines. That is ok with eating a boring diet, and drinking black coffee. That gets high on the will power wins. This isn't always synonymous with a dire need to "change my body". I love my body, I just want to see what its capable of when I turn up the heat... does that makes sense?

Maybe 3 months from now I'll be completely on the other side of the spectrum, and be raving about how regimented I was and how awful it was. I can accept that. But for right now my nutrition coach is helping me eat nutritiously, and has realistic views of what life as a mom of two looks like.