The best advice I've ever received
My mom is a Therapist. Maybe you've read her contribution to my blog, its actual magic that post... bookmark it, read it over and over again. I know I do.
I live for self help books, and i've gotten a lot of advice gems from my mama obvious, and my entrepreneur genius father also. Not gonna live I have great genes.
Here are just a handful of my favourite little sayings that come to mind when I am having a rough fucking time.
"Ask for what you need" - This little one right here is a game changer. Don't expect people to read your mind. This includes your partner!!! Your friends!! Even your kids! Lay it out for everyone in your life. What do you NEED. And if you aren't clear on that, get into your head and figure it out.
"Act how you want to feel" - This can feel 'fake' for some people. Its not though I promise. Here is an example: I want to feel confident in my own body. So I act like I am, I talk to my body in a way that fuels those thoughts, and then eventually you start believing it! It works the exact same way as filling you mind with negative shit, however this is positive! Act, think, and manifest what you want in your life. It IS that simple sometimes.
"Ask for forgiveness, not permission" - Thanks Dad. Such wise advice. Can get you into trouble sometimes, but it can be easier to just follow your heart and do things and ask for forgiveness... people are resistant to change and quick to say no. When you just do it and they see how awesome what ever 'it' is, they can't argue! *Disclaimer, there are times this is not appropriate ex. sneaking out of the house at 16 and getting picked up at the end of the driveway, only to be returned at 2am and greeted by your father in his tighty whiteys. He would have rather we asked permission... Lol*
"Whats fun for one, isn't fun for everyone" - this is a classic in my girl group. Not everyone like dancing until 3am. Not everyone likes meeting new people. Not everyone likes shopping. Not everyone likes live music. I've been on enough girl vacations to know that when you have more than 2 people there are always different opinions, goals, and adventures in mind. Just because someone doesn't like what you want to do doesn't mean anything other than they don't like to do that! Which leads into the next...
"Don't take ANYTHING personally." - If you haven't read 'The Four Agreements' you need to. Its the bread and butter of getting more out of life and getting accountable with yourself. 99% of the time when someone is 'short' with us, or 'seems weird towards you' they have their OWN shit going on that has nothing to do with you. Hear that. Don't be so narcissistic to think that you're affecting anybodies life. I know that's hard to hear, but its true. Example. When I get my hair done I don't love to chat the whole time. I like to bring a book and actually enjoy some quiet time. This has NOTHING to do with how much I like my hair dresser's company. She's great. I just want to be quiet for a minute. Don't take it personally.
Did someone forget to text you back? They probably actually forgot. Did someone look at you the 'wrong way'? They probably were thinking about something completely unrelated. I swear. Get out of your head and their head. Don't make assumptions, and don't take anything personally.
"Don't hold people to expectations" - this one is super important in relationships. If you expect something but don't follow my number one rule and 'ask for what you need', you are asking for disappointment. Followed by resentment. Let me explain hypothetically.
Its your birthday and you'd like your husband to plan something. You expect maybe he will get your friends together for a nice dinner, and then he will get up with the kids in the morning so you can sleep in.
Your birthday comes, nothing is planned, he just gets you a card and grabs pizza. You're mad, furious even. You EXPECTED more.
Don't. Just let it go. If you want it so badly, ask for it. Straight out. You're a grownup I know you can do it.You want something specific for your birthday? Ask him! You need more help with the kids, ASK. Don't expect him to figure it out on his own. You need more help around the house, ASK. Don't expect he will all of a sudden start folding the laundry and putting it away. Release yourself from expectations and then you'll be free from disappointment. Its not a fool proof plan however it makes a big difference.
What are your best pieces of advice you've ever received???